You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
