Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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