if only i could text you this smell
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
