blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
