their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
