and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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