I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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