My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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