i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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