That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
