I can't breathe out the right side of my face
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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