is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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