I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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