bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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