Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
