Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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