please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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