you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
