So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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