I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
