When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
