She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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