the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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