And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
