doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's the barista slut.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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