I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
