is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
