Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize