Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
