Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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