I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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