your parents love me but you hate me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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