yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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