please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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