I skipped work to stalk him.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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