I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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