Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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