i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
