her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
