He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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