Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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