Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying