ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
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are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.