i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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