We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
