I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize