i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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