i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
