Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize