why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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