So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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