I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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