Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
