Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize