Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just had sex on a roof
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
